Just real quick!


Make this stop, end this, get this baby out...NOW!

I don't even care if people are saying, "wow, Erin is really grouchy, Erin should be happy and blah blah blah". Those people do not have a huge baby in a breech position with leaking fluid who happens to have the largest head this side of the Mississippi, complete with rib and hip bone pain! So get off my back! (PS: I didn't get to fall asleep until about 3-4am this morning, benedryl no longer helps and Dennis will only allow me one VERY TINY pill...ugh!!

I have to go to court today which I haven't been to in several weeks so I'm sure to see other colleagues that I haven't seen in several many weeks and I'll get all the same comments I got when I returned to work..."you're still pregnant", "wow I think you're having twins".

Note to Nolan: "Wouldn't you love to come meet mommy and daddy earlier? I mean really, do you want your birthday to be the day after school goes back each year? That would be really depressing for you and I don't want my little love to be depressed. It's much more fun to have a July birthday, or REALLY early August birthday. Love, mommy."


Lookin Up!

Yesterday Dennis and I went to see Dr. Brown (gag) but I was sorta excited to see if she could make sense of the bedrest crap. We got there and I got measured and the doc looked a little perturbed. I asked what was up and the doctor said I was measuring two weeks ago, I'm sorry you're upset doctor but I am quite happy about that! Apparently it's not to exciting, just means that when I do finally give birth (if ever) the baby could be 20lbs by then, lovely! So the doctor gave me an order for an ultrasound and I got an appointment for Monday, I am so excited! I can't even remember the last time I saw little bean...who I am sure is not so little anymore! :) I then told the doctor about what the scary russian idiot doctor did and she was upset about it! The doctor said she doesn't want me on bedrest and wants me up and walking around and told me I could go back to work but not until Monday. So really its a double woohoo because I get a long weekend and I get to go back to work, which I really do miss terribly.

Afterwards we went to Once Upon a Child. I must say, anyone who does not have this in their town is seriously missing out. It is a consignment store but only accepts high quality items to be turned in, which they give you cash for. You can get high chairs (look brand new) for $30-$60 bucks, cribs, clothes!! A lot of the clothes still have the original tags on and they are all around $1...I'm in heaven when I'm there! :)

Then we went to Lowes and got a bunch of plants and flowers for the front of our house, got home and planted. Well really Dennis did all the work but I sat and watched and showed him where to put things. :)

We made a final list of everything we need to get before baby is here, which is a lot more than I thought. Sort of overwhelming! Ugh, thank you cards. Must. Get. Today! I am such a slacker!!

We also played our Wii and I tried to teach Dennis to be more calm when he loses. When Dennis loses...wow...everyone should hide. I tried to tell Dennis to pretend I was Nolan and for him to act as if he is with his son. Well, that didn't work. Cuss words, frustration...almost giving up. I think the only fault that I can find in Dennis is when he loses in games...any and all. Even if he is just playing by himself on the Wii...watch out if he loses a round of golf in Tiger Woods, you may see things be thrown from our home! I guess my next plan is to not allow Dennis and nolan to play any sort of game together, sad really! This is one father who is not going to allow his child to win a game, EVER!

Oh hey! I forgot to blog about this but my mom has finally moved to Tampa and at the same time my grandparents in Texas sold their house. They will be living in Tampa by August 13th...CRAZY! I didn't think they would meet Nolan...everything is happening all at once. Definiately makes my mother more crazy than she is on a normal day, wish me luck!

Okay I'm done for the day because I really don't feel like even blogging today but knew I needed to just so I could have yesterday written about. Dennis will be home early today and we can go grocery shopping! I find myself getting almost giddy when Dennis comes home or has a day off and we hang out, even if it is something as lame as grocery shopping. I just love him to pieces, especially lately! :) I think it might have something to do with me thinking more and more about our relationship and the 6 years we've been together. As we get closer and closer to having Nolan it reminds me these are the last few weeks it will EVER be just me and Dennis again. Almost like an era comes to an end, which is great because I can't wait to have Nolan here...it's just been so long that it's just been me and Denny. I think we are ready and will do the best we can...now here I go getting all sappy. I must go now!



I know I know, you're probably upset because I'm going to complain...AGAIN. I know it's not often that I complain but really at this point in my pregnancy, what is there to be happy about?

My boss came over the other day and saw the nursery for the first time and looked at me kind of disgusted, "why are his clothes all over the floor". No no! You see, those are actually piles of clothes to wash....yes they may have been there for weeks now and I just can't seem to get the smallest bit of energy to move them into the washer, but it helps because we are still getting clothes from people coming in so that way I will have a fuller load and not waste water!

Anywho, lets talk about the lovely night that was last night. Lets just say that sleeping has been hard for me throughout the 3rd trimester but it's getting to be damn near impossible at this point.

I have suffered from restless leg syndrome for a good bit of my pregnancy but it's only ever happened when I'm sitting on the couch, annoying yes, but I am alright with it since it was not happening when I go to sleep. For about the past week the RLS has hit while I'm laying down. I think this has something to do with in the past I would see my bed and pass out and was unable to stay up barely past 9pm. I've noticed I've been staying up a lot later so I can only imagine I have a bit more energy and I don't fall asleep upon seeing my mattress anymore. Last night we turned the TV off at midnight and my RLS attacked me over and over again (like a pit bull) until about 3am. I got up and had to use the ladies room around 1:20am.

I now need to mention that last night we decided to try allowing our puppy to sleep in our bed with us instead of his crate because he has been so good lately. Well of course he is scared of Dennis because Dennis is...well...meaner. ;) Anyways, Yogi the puppy must be up against me at all times. I finally got to sleep around 3am and woke up again at about 4am because I had a big ball of fur under my stretched out arm and could not move. Clearly I could have moved, but Yogi was just too precious and cute and I wouldn't dare move the baby and wake him just so I could get some more sleep. So I laid awake, just staring at him, rubbing his paws, for about an hour when again I had to pee...I got up and Yogi moved! When I got back to bed Dennis was making some weird noise that really sounded like our ac unit failing or a snake in our bedroom, finally I realized it was him and basically hit him in the face to make him stop, he did. Finally went back to bed at 5:30ish am and then Dennis' alarm went off at 7ish.

In all I got about 2.5 hours of sleep. Not to mention I had some "funky" stuff going on that had me somewhat worried, but I will spare you from reading about that fiasco that also kept me up last night.

I tried to go back to sleep this mornng after Dennis left but couldn't really get any actual sleep in. *sigh* I must say I am getting used to not having sleeping and feel pretty energized despite my horrendous sleeping patterns lately, maybe this is a good sign! :)



Today is the day I find out if I will remain on bedrest or not....and here I am waiting. I figured I would be one of the first calls this morning from the doc's office, apparently my worst fear has occured, they forgot about poor me. It stinks too because I'm one of those people that will not call them because I don't want to seem too antsy, but I think at this point in time it should be understandable.

Bedrest....wow. It sucks. Plain and friggin simple....sucks sucks SUCKS! I even get offended when Dennis doesn't want to lay in bed with me and watch ridiculous shows that I now watch. I really can't blame him, who would want to sit there with me and watch some lame show or a show that makes me cry....and then he has to deal with a lame show and a crying lady who is most likely crying over absolutely nothing.

The crying phenomenon is quite amazing to me still. I remember in my first trimester I cried while watching Celine Dion perform live one night. No I did not intentionally tune the chanel to this but walked in the room and it was on and I was hooked...and then I was crying. I don't even really have a particular liking for Celine Dion, but wow was it powerful!

The "crying phenomenon" has only gotten worse the farther along I am getting. I have decided I can no longer watch "birth day", "deliver me", or "bringing home baby" on TLC or Discovery Health channels. I'm really not too sure why but the only way I can explain it is hopelessness, like wow that is NEVER going to be me because I am going to be pregnant for the REST of my life...very dramatic! I get jealous of these ladies having their babies....it really seems as though I am destined to be pregnant for the rest of my life. Waaa!!

Another show that apparently makes me cry now, which is very confusing is "16 and Pregnant" on MTV. First off, no show on MTV has ever made me cry and I don't even watch MTV or consider it a "real" channel anymore...once music was taken off...MTV was dead to me! So I get bored while being on bedrest and that's on and hell I'm pregnant too so why not watch it. This particular episode the teen parents gave their baby up for adoption and I cried like a damn baby and I'm still not quite sure. Obviously I am not giving up my baby for adoption but it just killed me to watch them do that, all of the motherly bones in my body were screaming at them...although if you think logically (and that's a BIG IF, especially when you're pregnant) then you realize that they are doing a good thing for the baby.

Finally, last night we were watching Deadliest Catch...one of our favorite shows to watch. I bawled my eyes out, yep during a show about killing crab, big ice storms, and being tough and manly! Of course one of them lost a family member while they were out fishing, why'd they have to go and do that? Don't they realize there is a pregnant person watching who just might be a little too emotional right now? Jeeezus people!

I am now going back to the bedroom to lay in bed, find something on TV to watch, and PRAY there is nothing to cry about...hell at this point I can find a reason to cry about anything...even if there is no logical reason to cry.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot I'll be waiting for my nurse to call me too!


B E D R E S T ? ?

[begin rant]

Yesterday I was feeling pretty terrible from about 9am on. Around 2pm I got sick of it and thought I'd just let the DR. know just incase it was anything special, I was sure I was NOT having contractions and let the nurse know this along with my bagillion symptoms (I swear I'm not a hypochondriac!). So I'm thinking worse case scenario is an office visit to be checked, nope...I was WRONG (which I often am with this whole pregnancy thing). The nurse tells me to go to the hospital triage, ugh. Fine!

Dennis comes home early and we go downtown to the bestest hospital ever, Winnie Palmer, swooon! Get there, Dennis signs in and there are people waiting in the hall outside of triage, that was the first sign that my night was going to SUCK. I check in and waited in the hall. A few minutes later I move inside to wait where I notice basically all the pregnancy women there, are giving birth, right then and there...in the triage waiting room. This basically means I'm last priority. Ugh.

THREE HOURS later....I finally get my name called. Thank GOD!

I sit in the room, get on the monitors and can already see no contractions, which I said from the beginning I was NOT having...but that's all they care about of course. Dr. Abrudescu (little russian man with HUGE glasses) comes in and does an exam and says everything is great. GREAT! Now...I have spoken before about the doctors in my OB practice being completely unable to perform their job duties. Well Dr. Abrudescu is one of the lovely four dingbats in my OB practice, actually the doctor that made me pee in a cup and told me I was pregnant (like the first five tests at home didn't tell me that much). So the doctor says things are okay and leaves, adios creepy little man!

I was kept on a monitor for about 30 minutes and monitoroed and everything was fine, no contractions, duh! No one has ANY answer as to my extreme pain that I've had all day except "maybe you have to poop". Look, I think I mastered the "knowing when you need to poop" thing around the age of 3, so lets skip that option! The other option, "maybe you have gas". I will harm a nurse or a doctor or anyone that says this again...SO STOP! Look I've had stage 3 endometriosis for almost four years, and it feels like that but WAY worse!!!! So leave me alone, grr!

So after they monitored me the nurse came in (with a guy who was in training that took my blood pressure by placing the cuff around my ELBOW) and she told me that she had my discharge paperwork which just talked about what the doctor already talked to me about, bedrest. I would love to have a picture of my face at that exact moment. Huh? What?! No! I told Nurse Shelly, "no he did not talk to me about bedrest". The nurse said, "well just make sure you stay on bedrest and pelvic rest until your next appointment", great that's not until the 23rd, 9 glorious days away. Nurse Shelly could not even really tell me what the doctor meant by bedrest, is this COMPLETE bedrest where I can only shower, eat, and stay in bed or what?

I called my doctor's office and left a nasty little fun message for them, still no return call...I bet they are calling me cuss words right now. Oh well.

So far today I have done pretty well on bedrest, done a load of laundry, vacuumed the STAIRS and the living room, cleaned up after my bassett that hates me (including scrubing the tiles). During one of these lovely moments the vacuum actually fell down the stairs into tiny little pieces, I bent down and put it all back together again. I am pretty productive on bed rest.
[edit] I have now also done the dishes (and put them all away..this alone is normally a huge task in our home)

I know I know I should be resting, but seriously! Things need to get done and no offense but they aren't getting done no matter how many times I nicely ask Dennis to do them....so I must do them...I'm tired of looking at the cat throwup stain on the two stairs and having to walk AROUND them, yes I scrubbed these spots as well today. I will say though, Dennis is normally very good about doing ALL of the household chores, but has been slacking lately because I think he is serious FREAKED OUT about having a child in oh about...5 weeks. Poor Denny <3

[/end rant]


Dog... meet baby...

So I recently read (I need to stop doing that!) about moms in my group who have dogs and what they have been doing to get the dog used to having a baby around. Apparently they are told to carry dolls around with a diaper on by their doctors (probably really their shrinks) so that the dog can get used to this. Well, if you know anything about me you know I can easily be swayed and will do just about anything if it has to do with having a happier baby, home, animal, hubby, etc. So last night when Dennis came upstairs (not for bed because he has to stay up until 2am every morning now...I'll make a post about that later) I pulled him into the baby's room and had him find me the "african american cabbage patch doll" that I knew was in the closet. Please do not ask me why we have this in my home, I'm sure Dennis's family may be able to shed some light on this if they would like. Anyways, I tell Dennis to get a diaper and put it on the cabbage patch doll. Note: I really tell Dennis to do things and make it seem like he needs to do it to learn something or that some great accomplishment will come out of whatever I am having him do, when in reality I just don't want to look dumb. Love you hun! Anywho, we get the diaper on the "baby" and I start carrying it around.

Now I am not so worried about what is going to happen with the basset hound because she is lazy, old, sleeps all day, and has had many other animals come after her and she was fine. I am worried about my prissy little male puppy who runs when he sees me and runs away when he see Dennis...he's my cuddle buddy. So I have "black Nolan" in my arms and suddenly Yogi jumps on the bed and tries to bite "baby's" head. Uhmm..this might be a problem. I lay "nolan" on the bed to "re-adjust" and Yogi jumps on nolan's entire body. Uhmm...my baby should be at the hospital by now. I kept a safe distance from Yogi just holding my little black nolan and Yogi cried and barked the entire time. What am I going to do? I keep picking Nolan up from the bassinet (yes he now sleeps in the bassinet in our bedroom to get Yogi used to that...I swear I read too much!) and Yogi just continually cries and barks almost in a screaming manner. I'm going to keep this up and hopefully Yogi won't be too confused when we come home with a white Nolan.

Today, Yogi only jumped on "baby" once and then licked his head and went back to chasing his tail. Hopefully..HOPEFULLY... Yogi has to chase his tail often after we get home with the real Nolan!


Keeping stuff....alive!

Recently I have been feeling a lot better about becoming a mommy and having things "figured out". I finally have things for the nursery and things are put together. I even have bottles, though no pump. For some reason I really have a need to have bottles in the house, even though we might not necessarily need them for a long while. It just seems so "official" I guess. So last night Dennis and I were watching Nine Months which is a great 90's movie about pregnancy obviously. After watching the movie Dennis expressed how scared he was and then stated a very scary sentence that dragged me right back to the frantic and crazy worrying lady that I was. Dennis said.... "We actually have to keep it alive". Uhm, yes I'm sure that is the MAIN objective after having a child, but I have never thought of it in this way. Crap! We have had numerous plants that we can't keep alive! We do have one great ficcus tree outside that we've now had for years, but its a damn tree and we set it outside so it gets watered by the rain, it also seems to help the weeds grow around it very nicely. Lazy parents. After trying to find other things that we've been able to keep alive I realized we do have animals. Three of them. We have had the cat for almost six years now and Sadie the bassett for five years. They are still alive! Then I realized that we only need to feed them every now and then and water them.

I would still like to think that being able to keep the animals and our ficcus tree alive counts, just so I don't completely go off the deep end.
PS: Yes, that is our lazy bassett, Sadie in the photo. Sadie likes to fall asleep on Dennis' computer garb or any remote.


The Friends

Yesterday at work I went to a staffing for my supervisor with another co-worker. While there my lovely friend Melanie walked into the room for the same staffing. Melanie was one of my frist "florida friends" and I have known her exactly two years. We got really close and soon me and Dennis were spending every friday night at their home playing games, drinking, just having a good ol' time until normally around 2am. Once I got pregnant these nights of fun stopped all together and as of yesterday we had not hung out with them since New Years Eve this year, the night before I found out I was pregnant. Well after seeing Mel in this staffing we devised a plan to hang out last night after work. I was ready for a night with friends. Everything was the same and felt really good. Dennis and I brought our Wii games over for their new Wii. We ended up playing until 2am and by the end my feet were overly swollen (even for me) and I could not move my toes anymore. Let me clarify...I was not really playing until 2am but passing out in between turns and watching Dennis have so much fun. I really love it when Dennis enjoys himself and will sacrifice my own health, sanity, and wellbeing to ensure he continues to have fun. Well we left and fell asleep at 3am.

Of course going to sleep is a journey (to hell) for me which requires several different types of pillows, positions, etc. Since my feet had been extremely swollen that night I had Dennis put an extra pillow at the end of the bed for my feet. Now recently I had not been adding any pillows and just letting my feet be swollen because the bottom of the mattress being raised up pushes my already killer heart burn farther than it has ever been before. I have woken up several nights, since my lovely doc told me to raise the entire mattress, to myself almost puking all over the person laying next to me...be it Dennis or even Becky one night. The past few nights I have had the bed raised for my feet and then had large decoration pillows so that I can sleep sitting up to keep the heart burn down. At this point my ribs and lungs hurt and going to bed is a nightmare I dread on a nightly basis. Anyways. Last night I sat myself up to go to sleep and the bed was raised for my feet, perfect! I finally fell asleep and woke up at 4:30 for the lovely trip to the bathroom. At this time I decided I definitely did not have any heart burn and I could sleep comfortably with my feet up and my head down on my normal pillows, so I took the decorative pillow and threw it on the floor (where most things have been landing on my side of the bed lately- (water bottles, remotes, tissues, hair ties, etc).

5:00am I wake up and have "vurped" in my mouth...hopefully that is a universal term for all so I don't have to explain further. When I do this I get very scared because I'm positive that is not healthy to do while sleeping. I tried to swallow and get the sensation of throwing up out of my mouth with no luck...ran to the bathroom and destroyed the area around the toilet and the toilet itself. All the while Dennis is almost snoring peacefullly, wakes up for a moment to ask, "you okay". Let me just state that this session of throwing up has been the worst in my LIFE to the point where I could not get enough air to speak and when I did, I had no voice left. Dennis kept becoming more and more agitated at me not responding as I continued to redecorate the bathroom and finally went back to sleep without checking on me Ugh! Finally I was able to stop myself, throw cold water on my face, and almost crawl to Dennis to beg for him to get me some water, which should have been obvious, but he was dead asleep. I laid in bed for the next hour trying to be able to swallow normally and worrying I had done actual damage to my throat. I was really scared to go back to sleep! Finally I went back to sleep after having Dennis take all of the pillows out from under the bed and I then placed the decorative pillow up against my back so that I could fall asleep sitting up.

All of this uproar woke up the lovely and old Sadie who barked until 8am when I believe I threatened Dennis with his life to take the dog out. Dennis took Sadie out but did not give her any water or breakfast, this is a no no when it comes to the Sadie who is very set in her ways. Within 30 minutes she was back at the top of the stairs barking again. Dennis refused to wake up. I flew out of bed screaming at Dennis and the dog and life itself...I was a mess and barely had a voice to scream with, but I found a way! I fixed Sadie up with some water and food and then threatened her with her life if she opened her mouth again.

Needless to say it was a lovely morning....I woke up at noon (thank god!) and looked in the mirror to see if I popped any blood vessels in my face from throwing up. (normally I do around my eyes). Wow...I have popped blood vessels around my eyes, forehead, cheeks, lips, chin. I have to go see family tomorrow which I now dread, hopefully I can run from ALL of the cameras.

Lesson learned #1: The doc sucks and I will NEVER put pillows under my bed again for my feet to be up.
Lesson learned #2: Do not drink ANYTHING the hour before bedtime to eliminate some heart burn, even water :(
Lesson learned #3: Tums do not work. PERIOD! I must find another alternative, which may include a daily pill which I have hidden from for months. (I hate having to take pills on a daily basis, makes me feel like a very ill person for some reason).
Lesson learned #4: Dennis is out for himself and do not expect him to come to your rescue once he has fallen asleep...burning house or not, Dennis is not getting up. How is this going to work when Nolan arrives?
Lesson learned #5: Do not stay out past 10pm while pregnant.
Lesson learned #6: My elderly dog hates me.


Only the Pros

I always seem to be about the negatives regarding this pregnancy (and heck, probably about most issues in my life too). I really try not to as I remember how grateful I really am. A few years back my wonderful Texas doctor (no really, everything is better in Texas) explained to me and Dennis that we most likely could not have children due to severe endometriosis which was diagnosed during surgery. I'm pretty sure this is the one single event that threw my life out of line and I started doing some really stupid things just because I did not care. I was born to have babies, my purpose is to be a mommy and it killed me from the inside out. I lived my life very recklessly (lets say) for the next few years and I regret that, but I am determined to never return to those ways again.

I have been so blessed to be able to have this little man in my tummy for all of these months and although I bitch and moan and complain (a million times a day) I really am very happy and thankful. I know this may be my one and only shot so I must appreciate it.

The Pros of Pregnancy
*You get help from others more than ever before (In my case I can basically no longer bend over, so it's nice getting help!). Also starting today I am being forced from my office and to pack up all of my belongings because some dumb man thought it would be good to renevate rather than get us in a snazzier place to work....but that's off topic. Uhmm...so yeah today a co-worker took my shred bins (my very over used and overflowing with papers -shred bins) to be shredded. It's the small things that make me smile!

*It's easier to clean out your belly button. I know this sounds silly, but it really is. Mine has not popped out but its just flat and stretched out so I don't have to go digging :)

*The movements....I can't even describe how these feel but they are truly amazing. I love watching little man jump around in my tummy and watch my tummy move in all different directions. Even more so exciting are the afternoon hiccups that little man develops. Sometimes they are rather annoying just like any human having hiccups, but they remind me that he is human and alive and breathing and it's nice to have that reassurance.

*Laundry. I actually like doing little mans laundry (for now), just looking at all the tiny things and snapping all the small buttons and zipping the little zippers. It makes me look forward to every day with little man.

*Carpal Tunnel. Yes I have found a positive in this. Lately I have been on a bagel kick. It is really nice pulling the bagels out of the toaster while they are scorching hot and I can't feel a thing!

*Having an excuse to lay in bed with my feet up (in my defense I do have terrrrible swelling) and not do anything, even though there is clearly so much to do. I don't think I need to worry about Dennis getting offended because I basically have to grab him by the head and force his face in the computer moniter to read my blog, he has a rough life.

Pregnancy is NO walk in the park, unless your name is Amy or Becky (and then in that case you are not human) but it really is a joy if you take the time to think of the small things and the amazing changes that are happening on a daily basis. Enjoy the time while you can! I'll be back to bitch more about my "state" later.