6 Month Birthday

Dear Bean,
I just wanted to write you a quick note. A year ago today you were just a little heart beat moving on a sonogram. You were so tiny we couldn't even hear your heart beat. That was the day that you became my bean, so cute and tiny...ready to grow at any moment! It's so hard to believe that you are now 6 months old and becoming active. It's a far cry from the "blob" days and mommy cuddling with you all day while we watched old re-runs of Home Improvement. I met you six months ago today and I haven't taken my eyes off of you since. I am so in love with you. The night you were born you had to be sent to the intermediate nursery to make sure you didn't get infections from mommy having no fluid left. I called the nursery every two to three hours to check on your test results that were done every three hours to see if you responded better than the last test. I called throughout the night. In the morning hours I was so fed up with not having you with me and not being able to hold you yet I called the nursery even more often and just kept asking when you were going to pass the test to get out of that place! I couldn't come visit you and I didn't want you to feel alone. I made daddy come see you often just so you could have someone with you. I now wake up in the morning and get so excited to see you and just be with you. I will never take you for granted and I love you dearly.

Love always,


The Roll

I just wanted to say that my son...my dear dear son...finally rolled over. I must post this on every site imaginable and I'll probably place a sign in my yard telling everyone that my son FINALLY rolled over. I mean clearly it was going to happen some day, but I was beginning to think that day would be on his 20th birthday. This morning I actually wrote a post on my "mommies board" and asked if anyone else's child wasn't rolling over, basically the answer was no, everyone's babies have been rolling over for a while. So after Nolan woke up and I fed him I put him on his tummy while I cleaned up a bit. That only lasted a few minutes and so I put him on his back, which he loves. I was walking around doing laundry and picking up and I turned around and he was on his tummy with his arm under him. I missed the whole thing! But I did get to see him figure out how to move his arm from under him and viola he was on his tummy...FROM HIS BACK!

Ohmygoodness.... he just did it again. This time he can't figure out how to get his hand out from under him, but hooray. I am so glad this happened at home with mommy and I didn't have to hear about it from daycare.

Mommy is so proud of you. I can't wait to experience all of your milestones. Just remember if you do them at daycare you remind your teachers not to tell mommy and then you promptly do them as soon as we get home. I love you Mr. Roller. ~Mommy



I just found a size three Huggies diaper which is MUCH softer than the other Mickey Mouse diaper. Hooray! HOWEVER, to my dismay, the Huggies diaper has Winnie the frickin' Pooh on the front. Is there a law somewhere that says if you do not have a newborn they must wear Winnie the Pooh, Mickey Mouse, or polka-dot diapers?

Oh crap...I just realized that Nolan's size two diapers also have Winnie the Pooh on them (I think). I don't think I really ever noticed because they are muted tolerable colors. [mommy fail]

So long 2's....Hello Mickey!

Today is a deeply upsetting and depressing day. Nolan may not officially fit into size 3 diapers. I know this shouldn't really matter. But the size three diapers are a lot more uncomfortable and paper like. Newborn diapers are so soft and cottony...who says a 6 month old doesn't need cotton against his booty but a 5 month old does? Nolan is also clearly upset about this which is why he cries every 15 minutes (it's definitely not a lack of attention span and boredom with the current toy in his face). Not only are they not soft, but the ones we have, have Mickey Mouse and Minnie on them. I mean those two are pretty cool and we live really close to them, but for some reason I just don't like them...

[begin rant] They drive me crazy, like Winnie the Pooh. I'm in trouble if my son decides Winnie the Pooh or Mickey are his heros. They get under my skin and I really can't say why. Probably has something to do with my irrational fear of _____. Clearly whatever is in the "blank" is completing embarrassing to me. I'd rather talk about my inability to breastfeed, my c-section scar, or my child's poopies. Anyways, I was actually thinking about throwing out all of our Mickey diapers because that's how much I cannot stand the guy. Then I decided that would be a waste and I'll just have to put up with cringing every time I change my child's diaper.[end rant]

Clearly you can tell in the below photo how upset Nolan is over size 3 mickey mouse diapers...

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" ~ Winnie the Pooh

“When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.” ~ WTP



So today is Thursday (I think...right?). Nolan has been sickly for about a week and a half. Dennis was sick for about a week. I've been sick about two days. Yesterday Nolan almost got sent home thanks to his "sick" poops. I haven't exactly seen what the "sick" poops look like but I'm sure I'll be just fine without that experience. In due time. And the daycare felt the need to tell me they heard my son wheezing...yes thank you. I am well aware that I ruined my sons life. Thanks! Anyways...I'm tired of being sick. And I'm sure it's not going to get better any time soon as long as Nolan's in daycare. It always happens in the same order, Nolan gets sick at daycare, Nolan gets daddy sick, daddy is sick for a week or two and then daddy gets mommy sick. It's a vicious cycle...get me out! I took Nyquil last night and I'm now dizzy this morning (that stuff always makes me feel drunk) but at least I think it helped my throat. Yuck....

We are still going to daycare and work today (don't you already know I'm a terrible mommy?). I'm a sucker for torture. I'm just sitting here, procrastinating, hoping my phone doesn't ring anytime soon.

Speaking of being an incompetent mother. Ugh. Nolan's nails grow at the speed of light lately and daddy doesn't do nails (is there a rule book with that in it somewhere?). We I haven't cut Nolan's nails in well over a week and he started getting "white tips" on his fingers. That's when you know it's BAD.

I guess I don't get a lot of stuff done when it comes to Nolan because I work so much. I've been getting home really late and we try to be in bed by 9pm with Nolan going to bed between 8-9pm. How do working mother's do this all of the time? I would even like to start going to bed at 8pm so that I can get to the gym at 5am like I used to. Ugh...there's just not enough time in the day!

Have a great day all you non-sick people.


Boy I hear you in my dreams...

...I feel your whisper across the sky. I keep you with me in my heart. You make it easier when life gets hard.


Breath Holding Spells

So it's been two months, time for Nolan to be sick again. Ugh! We took him to the doctor this morning and the doctor asked if either of us had asthma, quickly I said yes with my head down in shame. The doctor said unfortunately a baby gets asthma the most from the mother's side. Damn me. The ONE thing I gave to my child...asthma. Go me! He looks nothing like me and has none of my mannerisms...but damn he's got my asthma.

I brought up to the doctor issues with Nolan's breathing...not relating to asthma, coughing, large amounts of snot, boogers, etc. But Nolan has done this "thing" three to four times now that scares the junk out of us. He will make a noise like he is about to squeal (only louder) and he will stop breathing. It's the weirdest thing and kills me when he does it. It's almost like he's gasping for air but just not breathing. It lasts maybe 10-20 seconds but could have several episodes each time. The doctor mentioned something rare called "breath holding spells". I think it has to have happened for a while before a child can be diagnosed with this but of course I got online and read about it. It sounds basically like what Nolan is going through and can start as early as 3 months old. Weird. I'm not saying he has this at all and I hope he doesn't...because frankly I don't think I can handle much more of the "spells". When children get a bit older with this condition they often pass out. If that were to happen in our household we would need to also treat the passed out mother laying next to Nolan. In my reading it states it is just a reflex and they child can't help it. It almost seems like he is doing it on purpose and I have no idea what to do when he does this. I open his mouth and try to calm him down. The doctor said next time to blow in his face to make him gasp for air, good idea! Nolan did this earlier tonight but he was in his swing and we weren't right next to him, it was really short so as soon as we got to him it was done. Is it too early to ground your child at 5.5 months? ;)

Holy crap....5 and a half months. Where has the time gone? Nolan is like a human now. No more "blobness". Nolan is grabbing at things, putting toys in his mouth, hitting at our faces (watch it little one!), and "talking". I love that I can interact with him more now. Ooooo and he knows his name. When I pick him up from daycare and he is far across the room on the ground and I'm standing up if I say his name he looks over to me...it is so validating to see that happen. Nolan is also eating veggies now...yummm!! He loves peas, squash, sweet potatoes, and carrots. The only thing he doesn't like too much is green beans, but he will still eat them!

Ohhh my little man...how I love you. ::kisses::


My Year in Review

A blog would not be the same if it did not have a yearly "end of the year review" now would it? So mine is a few days late, I'm lucky I got it done even in the month of January. Although I will admit that more than likely I am going to write down a few things now and have to come back to the list later....it might just be several months later. Now lets start...

1. We found out we were going to be parents on New Years Day 2009, what a way to start the year! Although, it doesn't really help that I went to our annual party the night before, sorry little bean.

2. We bought a brand new town home in March which was also a model home, full of many upgrades and complete with a painted nursery for a boy. Hooray!

3. My best friend came to visit from Texas and planned the BEST baby shower with Dennis.

4. We finished the nursery.

5. We found out that our little bean was a boy. Even though I had sworn for MONTHS I was having a girl.
6. I got a raise.
7. I won the award at work for, "most likely to remove children, work on a shelter petition, and go into labor all at the same time".
8. I cried to a Celine Dion special in my first trimester of pregnancy. I really don't have a connection to the lady at all or particularly like her much.
9. We started and mostly finished "wood" flooring in our office. Dennis will be finishing this in early 2010.
10. Dennis and I celebrated our last night out as the two of us at the Cheesecake factory a month before my due date, not knowing that I would actually have Nolan the next day.
11. I had an emergency c-section after learning my water had been broken for two weeks and there was almost no amniotic fluid left for bean. (even though I told the doctor two weeks prior that I was leaking fluid)

12. I thought about suing my doctor's office.
13. My mother and father spent two nights in a hotel together in the same room to be close to baby Nolan at the hospital. And they didn't kill each other.
14. I vowed to never return to my OB/GYN when I asked for help with my anxiety and they told me they could not help me because that had no relation to post partum depression.
15. I took maternity leave and spent every waking moment with my perfect little man.

16. I gave a valiant effort to breast feeding but after not producing enough milk and Nolan's weight dropping I had to stop. Major fail!
17. My grandparents moved from Texas to live in my mom's neighborhood. Family is back together again!
18. My cousin (who is much more like a brother) received a scholarship to teach English in Spain. I'm so proud of him! He came home for Christmas and got to meet Nolan.
19. We got visits from Oma and Fritz (daddy's mom and step dad) and Nolan's godfather, David.

20. My parents spent an entire holiday together which hasn't happened in over 20 years.
21. I cried for the entire week before I took Nolan to daycare and had to go back to work, early.
22. I started college Spanish classes through my job.
23. I learned how to bake and now I bake the best damn chocolate chip cookies around town!
24. We finally finished Nolan's name letters for the nursery, a few months after he was born. (okay it was really 5 months after)
25. Dennis decided to cut some spending by getting rid of my DVR. I was a raging crazy lady for a couple of weeks which prompted the return of DVR to our home.
26. Nolan had many nicknames; bean, no-bo, no-li, bubby.
27. We celebrated Nolan's first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

What a year it has been. We have been given so much and we are so happy with everything that we have. Having Nolan really made everything in our lives change drastically but we wouldn't give that up for anything. I can't even explain how Nolan has brought us even closer together. I am so in love with my family.

Bring on 2010!