My Future Teenager

Dear Teenage Nolan,

This week you had your first real pimple. When you are 13 and tell me you got your first pimple I will refer you back to this post. You got your first pimple when you were 3 years old. Wow, what a first! I am so proud but a little confused as to why you got it. It wasn't like a little flat red mark...it was pulging with green/yellow stuff right in the middle of your nose. Today I took you to look for a preschool. In hindsight I should have popped it last night because that thing could have been a lady killer...literally. So today (after the preschool visit) I had finally had enough. I popped it. Maybe it was the right thing to do...any maybe it will emotionally scar you for the rest of your life. I'm not really sure. But I'm really glad that thing is no longer staring at me. Your Dad and I called you Rudolph a couple of times this week. I apologize, that was really wrong of us to do. I really hope you don't hate us when you get older, just don't ever forget about all of the hershey kisses I give you when you go potty in the toilet. Probably another one of my not so greatest moments...I'm human and I've made a lot of mommy mistakes. Kind of like posting a blog entry about your first pimple. :/

Other than that exciting news, you toured a preschool today. It was really neat and they actually go up to 2nd grade. Apparently their curriculum is amazing...you can skip a grade, get tested throughout your time at the school, and they teach you three languages besides English. It all sounds great and the reviews are stunning, a lot of parents say when their kids go to Kindergarten at an elementary school that the curriculum is too easy for their kid. But my only problem is what happens when at four years old you are smarter than me and start talking to me in Chinese? Yes, they teach ALL the kids (no matter age) Chinese, Spanish, and ASL. I think we'll try it and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you never cuss me out in Chinese. Spanish, English, and ASL cussing is okay though because I know at least a little bit in all of those.

I love you, future teenage Nolan.
[Even if you hate me and cuss me out in Chinese]

Chicks Dig Scars

Yes, it's true. I like scars. They tell about experiences and your life. My son's scars are even more near and dear to my heart. They represent every surgery he has been through and made it through with a smile.

Today I took Kaleb to his Pediatric Surgeon. The guy isn't all that bad, sometimes a little busy. Pretty good looking for an older guy too, that doesn't hurt. Today he was really nice, listened, shot the breeze with my 3 year old, and then he focused on Kaleb. I took Kaleb there because his umbilical hernia that he's had since he was born, has been sticking out and has changed. I was prepared for him to say, it's fine and just cosmetic and kick us out of his office. I would then feel like I'm a little too crazy when it comes to Kaleb's medical issues and jump the gun sometimes.

Is that what he said? Nope. Not only does Kaleb have ONE hernia, he now has TWO. Along with his umbilical hernia he also has an incisional hernia which occurred after he had his Nissen surgery. Boo. They will need to fix them but normally don't until the child is around 3 years old after they have been walking for a while. Our surgeon asked me if Kaleb would even be able to walk in the future. I honestly have no idea. He said that Kaleb needs increased muscle tone in the area for the surgery which normally comes along during walking. Not to mention Kaleb is already low tone throughout his body. Ugh.

Today wasn't the best of days but it definitely wasn't the worst. I just kept thinking how most parents don't ever have their child's doctor ask if their kid will be able to walk. It's normally, "is he walking yet" or "how long has he been walking?". Not here.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change Kaleb for anything. He is perfect in every tiny way. He melts my heart and has taught me so much about life and never taking anything for granted. But, I did find myself rocking him today apologizing and bawling my eyes out to him for his feet. I know it's not my fault. And it isn't even due to his chromosome disorder, they are completely independent. Does that make sense? He just has so much against him, hurdles, surgeries, tests, labs, hospitalizations, etc and his feet affect him in so many areas. It makes me so frustrated for him.

Please know this. I love his feet. I love the curve of them, the way his pinky toenails grows up instead of out, the three middle toes that are pulled back, the scars on them. I love to tickle them and kiss them and rub them. They are the cutest feet I've ever seen!

I love you Kaleb and your silly little feet! We will get past this like everything else. <3 p="p">

Updated

Just wanted to put this out there, I updated the section of this blog, "Our Specialists". It's a running list of all of Kaleb's specialty doctors and any updates that have happened this year. I've also added four new ones and I'm sure I'm missing several.

Also, please keep Kaleb in your prayers tomorrow as we will be taking him to his Pediatric Surgeon to look at his umbilical hernia which may now need to be repaired. :(

I'm a Greatist

More must-read health & fitness news and information at Greatist.

I absolutely love the website, Greatist! They give me so much inspiration to start this weight loss journey and have phenomenal information to help anyone, whether you want to lose weight or just have a happier life. I found the above inspiration a few minutes ago, if only I could immediately print it out on a poster and hang it in front of my elliptical. :) 

Here's to a "Greatist" kind of day with inspiration for everyone. 

Cheers! 

[Not So] Goodnight Moon

Dear Nolan, 

You are three. You are wearing underwear most of the time with no accidents. You use the toilet. You use a normal fork and spoon. You love bath time. You can put your shoes on and do so many other great "big boy" things. But why oh why do you HATE sleeping? You were always a great sleeper. Then you turned two and I think someone told you that you could test your boundaries. I'd like to find that person, who was it? You've been taking Super Batman Juice [Melatonin] for a month now, some nights are great and then there are those nights that I should probably not repeat. Remember, if you don't have anything nice to say...don't say it. You know that Daddy is a pushover to letting you sleep in bed and you have perfected your speech to him so you can sleep with us. Ugh. This morning my alarm was warm urine all over my back. Thank you for that. I do love you and everything about you, but we need to keep all urine to ourselves. Please sleep in your bed tonight. We have made your room so nice and cool [seriously, I'd like to sleep in there] but you hate it. You come out of your room every 15 minutes, "Mom, I need chocomilk", "Mom, I need to go pee pee", "Mom, I need to give you a kiss". You're really good at what you do. But please...for my sanity [which ultimately affects your sanity] GO TO BED...IN YOUR BED! 

Love, 

Your very sleepy and slightly annoyed Mommy

PS:

Please stop falling asleep on the couch right before dinner because you refuse to take a nap. It's impossible to wake you up and when you do wake up, watch out. In those times, I would like to be hiding. 

Losing It

Surprisingly...this post is not about my kids. It's about me.

I need to lose weight. A lot of it.

I've never posted anything like this before but I need to be held accountable so why not here right? I will probably be disabling the ability for this to post to Facebook after I post things like this in the future, because really...I don't want everyone knowing about my weight issues [maybe I will after I lose a zillion pounds].

My roomate who cooks amazing meals will be leaving tomorrow, while this is sad I am excited to start my weight loss journey which will be much easier without chicken enchiladas on my table and large amounts of spaghetti and sauce.

I recently bought an elliptical and put it right in my living room [thank God we bought the house with the bigger living area], and while I use it...I don't use it like I should. Obviously. I also recently bought a Ninja blender and protein powder. I also love Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred".

I've done two 5k's [whatever, I didn't run but I still did it right?], but I would LOVE to get to the point of even thinking about doing a marathon. I like running more than most people, so I guess that's a good thing.

I have cut out sodas and switched to sparkling water. Didn't you always know that I was high class like that? I like to lift weights. I love to see my calories burned go up and up as I work out. I very rarely do fast food and if I do I go for a lighter option [alright...most of the time...dammit].

I need some awesome support and any tips or tricks you all have found to be helpful on your journey. Please help me along, hopefully I will be brave enough to post my good and not so good days.

I can do this. I will do this.

>Find more health and fitness advice at Greatist.com, one of the best fitness blogs online.

Growing Pains

I can't believe how big my boys are getting. I feel like they were babies just yesterday. They are growing and becoming more independent which is great and all, but sometimes I just miss the baby days.

Nolan...
* is almost completely potty trained. He goes out in his underwear instead of diapers, he wears underwear at night and hasn't had ONE accident. I can't even believe it. I haven't been the most strict mom on potty training with him, probably because in all honesty the diapers are easier for me when we are going to and from therapies and doctor appointments constantly throughout the week. My bad. I actually started him on the potty when he was a year and a half old, that was when he first went pee pee in his little toilet. I thought that would be it and we were on our way to underwear. Clearly I was a very wrong mommy with way too many dreams. At least I was able to introduce the whole idea to him BEFORE Kaleb was born, after he was born it was unfortunately put on the hypothetical back burner. But not anymore. He has taken it into his own hands and done amazing at it. My little man is not so little anymore.
* talks in complete sentences...well, most of the time. It's really weird to have your child come in your bathroom and say, "Uh, Mommy...I going to use your toilet. I going to go pee pee and poo poo". It's like having an adult room mate that you can talk with but yet they make an unimaginable mess in your house and pee on your toilet seat. So odd.

[Nolan and his plane that he made out of small butter packets that restaurants give to you. AMAZING!]

Kaleb...
* is speed crawling everywhere. It's insanely difficult to keep up with him. No matter how many times one vacuums the carpet, he WILL find some itty bitty thing on the floor and put it in his mouth. He also gets into the kitchen, opens the doors and pulls out everything. I thought about baby proofing but I'm so happy that he can even do this that I refuse. I just hide all of the unsafe things and let him have fun. It's all so tiring but I am so thankful for every little thing that he CAN do, I don't worry about how frustrating it can get constantly pulling stuff from his mouth or putting things back in the kitchen.
* is going to be two in just a few months! I can't even believe it! He can crawl, pull up on his knees, stand with help, loves the water, does great in his therapies, and is even getting two molars (which haven't been so nice to him). He only has 6 teeth and people still ask me how old the baby is when we go out but he's so much more than "just a baby"!

[An older one of Kaleb when he first started exploring the floor...this was printed in the newspaper]

Alright, enough for today. I've got to keep up with this thing more often. I love being able to look back through my pregnancies with the kids and especially during the uncertain months while I was pregnant with Kaleb and his diagnosis.


I can do this!