1.10.2012

One of THOSE Days

So I woke up crying this morning. I feel like a terrible mother sometimes, today especially. I think sometimes I wake up realizing that today is going to be the same as yesterday, as far as Kaleb and his development goes. I love my baby with everything in me but as expected it's hard. All of this wasn't supposed to be easy and I don't pretend it is. It's hard to have a 1 year old who can't crawl, walk, talk. He had amazing development around 6 months and then it all declined. I remember at his 6 month developmental assessment I was super excited to tell all of those people asking the long questions about his development that he was doing all of the things he was supposed to be doing. Like...hah...I proved you wrong!




On a typical day we all sit on the floor and just play with toys. We do go to the park and shopping and other fun things so it's not like I make my kids sit on the floor for 8 hours at a time, nothing like that. Kaleb is very needy and high maintenance, truthfully I think he knows exactly what he wants and does everything in his power to get it. The only thing he wants at all times is mommy or daddy. Which is really great and sweet and does so much for me but at the same time there is no growth in that. He does not get better with us away. Most children will cry for a few minutes and then stop. Not Kaleb. Kaleb will literally cry to the point of not being able to breathe.

It's very hard to do anything around the house or even go to the bathroom. In case you're a mom and haven't gone to the bathroom with a kid in your arms the entire times...I have...and it's nearly impossible! And when I absolutely have to get up to do something I feel terrible. Sometimes it's hard knowing this is our life for right now. Maybe I could do some laundry if he could crawl or move around to make sure I'm still around...I'm not sure but it would be nice to find out.




Enough of this bitching. I'm going to go enjoy my kids, on this big blanket we have on the floor. I'm also going to go watch several more episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba and Mickey...and probably have someone bite my toes (he's been scooting after them for a while now). I really do love my life...I am so thankful for everything I have. There's no where else I would rather be. I guess just like any other mother I want the best for my children and to see one not progressing "normally" {i hate that word} then it hurts me and I feel helpless!


Source: pinterest.com via Sarah on Pinterest


2 thoughts:

T B

If I could give you a hug, I would. I can't imagine how hard that must be! I know how it feels to not get a break from your baby and you should never feel like a bad mother!!

bgracious

It gets easier, I promise. Some days are harder than others and you will have setbacks here or there, but as long as you keep Kaleb challenged and maintain your sanity (that has been the tough part for me!!!)...things will get better. Finn's only 3 so I know I'm not the best person to be saying that, but I really think the first couple of years are the hardest. Its so tough when you are always worried about things like will he choke on his bottle or I wish I knew why he is vomiting all the time or I wish he could just point to what he wanted so I know. It happens slowly, but it does happen and as mentioned, the best piece of advice we ever got was to keep Finn challenged. The day he stops doing something new is the day we will get worried. I also remember that it would seem like it would take FOREVER for Finn to learn anything and my husband, bless his heart, would say why are you still showing him the sign for eat (or whatever it was I was trying to get Finn to learn)...he isn't going to do it. Well you know what...the millionth and twenty-second time I showed Finn the sign for eat...he copied me! Hang in there and know that you are not alone and I will always be happy to listen or provide you with positive insight into the future!

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