And waiting...

I don't know what else to do. I go from the computer to the bed and then back to the computer again. I'm tired of waiting. I want to call the hospital and yell at the genetic counselor who is supposed to call with the results, "WHERE ARE MY RESULTS". I would hope that with news like this she would call as soon as the results were in her hands, but I don't have much faith in people lately.

When I make my way to the computer I'm surrounded by some great women on my "birth board" who seem to be going through this with me and I update them regularly. It feels nice to not feel alone right now. I think Dennis wants to be left alone more than I do so I let him sleep and watch re-runs of House Hunters and Designed to Sell because I think that makes him feel a little better. This is a very awkward place to be. Is there a handbook of what to do in this situation? I have laundry and dishes to do but it just doesn't seem right to do anything but sleep or blog.

I remember yesterday when we got home from the hospital, Dennis took the dogs out and I stood against the kitchen counter (eating kit-kats). When Dennis came back inside I asked him in a very honest way, "What do you do when you find out your baby may die?" There's no directions on what to do and I very seriously didn't know what I was supposed to do in that moment. The only thing we can think of is sleep or lay in bed. I need to start a caringbridge.com website for little nemo but I don't want to yet because I don't know what we are looking at.

It's 12:43 pm and still nothing.

3 thoughts:


I think you can only do what you feel like doing...and whatever that may be is the "right" thing.

I am praying you get some answers soon.

Lindsey Fretwell ~ BBC

I'm so sorry you are going through this... such small, meaningless words, I know. I think you are doing all that you can. Regardless of the news, your baby can still hear you. Let him know how much you love him, and pray! Make his time as wonderful as possible, and let God's hands do the rest.

I'm praying for you, Dennis, Nolan and your little bean! Most of all, I'm praying for some positive results!!


Amy~ constant thank yous for all of your support through this.

Lindsey~ You have such amazing words that make me feel so warm. I often forget that he is still in there and he is a person and my attention needs to be on him. Sometimes it's so hard to remember what's going on in there when dealing with something like this. Thank you :)

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