Growing up

My little man will soon be ten months and that breaks my heart. I can't get over how quickly he has grown into this little adult with his likes and dislikes and his hilarious personality. His hair is also growing as wildly as he is and I absolutely REFUSE to cut it. I now under stand why some boys have longer hair than their mommies, it's just too hard to part with. That sweet little hair that was once pitch black and is now such a light blonde.

I've always had issues with commitment..."What color lipstick will I wear? Ahh...I'll wear them all and make my own color", "What show I do now? Go to bed? Get on the internet? Read? Clean?" There are too many options in life and I have never handled those options well. This may be why I am still engaged after I can't even count how many years now. Not because I have trouble committing to Dennis, please....that happened YEARS ago. But because I have trouble committing to colors, flowers, table designs, the PLACE. It's impossible for me to make choices. Nolan's birthday is no different. Although I think this particular even in my life as a lot more to do with the fact that I do not want my baby turning ONE! I already know the decorations, invitations, who's coming, etc...but I haven't sent out ONE invitation. I also have not reserved the club house yet, bad mommy!

Other than my procrastination to see my baby grow up he's already showing me he's growing up. He started walking this past Monday out of no where. He also stood up in his crib at school on Tuesday. Things are going too fast. Sometimes I'll try to sit with Nolan and cuddle him but it never lasts for more than a few moments because he is too busy exploring and mommy is getting in the way of that.

Dear Nolan,
There will be days that mommy will absolutely annoy and embarrass you. You will not stand to be around mommy and that is okay because we all go through "that stage" but I just want you to know that right now you are in your exercauser dancing the thing in circles to dance music. You are also "scream talking" because you want something else. Your hair is growing over your ears. You have two teeth. You have longer fingernails and toe nails than you should. You have a slight diaper rash which mommy was mostly able to clean up last night. You are wearing stylist plaid clothing and sucking on a penguins head. You have two HUGE cheeks that everyone pinches and/or sucks on. Your cheeks droop below your jaw line sometimes, making your neck invisible. Also, you have a mommy that loves you more than you will ever know and she would do anything for you. That same mommy is trying really hard to not cry while writing this because she has already done all of her makeup for the day. I love you baby.
Love, 
Mommy