Moderate Hearing Loss

You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil...you are the mother, advocate, and protector of a child with a disability. - Lori Borgman

I hate the title of this post but it is what it is. This morning I took Kaleb to the children's hospital here for his "6 month" audiology test. Yes, he is now 10 months old...I'm aware we are a bit late on the audiology train and I feel terrible for it. I wasn't worried this morning. When people hear that Kaleb has hearing tests often they always say, "Oh we know he can hear". Yes so do I, but I know it's more than that. This morning I had already told myself that he can hear and that's that. Well not so much. He was able to do the older kid testing where they sit you in a box with animals, lights, and sounds coming from different directions. Pretty freaky to me. I wasn't worried. Then I noticed he wouldn't respond like he should. I told myself, "he's a baby...he's not going to get every response correct". Then when he would not hear the same sound from the same direction over and over again, I knew it wasn't the best news. 

Kaleb began to get tired so Dr. Hall came in and did the "infant test" to see if that would have better results. Basically when a baby gets a hearing test they put these ear pieces in and it measures the movement of the ear drum, hairs, and other parts of the ear. After this test Dr. Hall told me that he had fluid behind both eardrums. I asked if that meant that he had ear infections. She said not necessarily because the fluid may be clear but somehow just stuck there. Kaleb's ear canals are very different than other's, his are very tiny and curve unlike most so most doctors and pediatrician's cannot see in there to see if there is fluid or an ear infection, etc. She told me to follow up with his ENT asap so they could use their special equipment to check on the fluid and get it to go away. 

At the end of the audiology appointment she sat down with me and showed me the chart which charts his hearing compared to other children his age. She told me he had moderate hearing loss and we would need to come back soon for another audiology appointment after seeing the ENT who can hopefully clear up the fluid behind his eardrums. Moderate hearing loss? This brought me back to the day we picked Kaleb up from the NICU to go home. We were so happy. Then the nurse said something to the affect, "oh btw he failed both of his hearing tests, you need to follow up for another one outpatient". Most parents don't have to hear that. I was terrified. Our geneticist pediatrician had already told us we needed to follow up with an eye doctor because she had concerns for his vision, and now his ears? I could deal with the extra chromosome, the crooked pinky fingers, the out of place feet, the very rare heart defect but for some reason thinking that my baby was deaf was unbearable. This appointment today brought me right back to that day we were discharged from the NICU. I'm not sure what it is about hearing loss but it terrifies me in ways that his other special needs don't. I think it is similar to the fear that he won't be able to walk. Maybe it's the main things we do that scares me, see, hear, walk, talk, those sort of things.

Well tomorrow we go to our ENT with Kaleb and Nolan. We need to talk to the ENT about Nolan getting his tubes in and obviously about Kaleb's possible ear infection...hearing loss...etc. It is sure to be a draining appointment no matter what happens...any appointment with both of the kids is draining no matter which way to slice it. ;)

I'm hoping to post soon about our Halloween night, ohmygoodness so much fun! Happy Halloween everyone!