5.03.2011

Casting Progress

It's taken me a long time to get to this point, to the point where I am comfortable posting photos of Kaleb's feet. I know that probably sounds absolutely ridiculous to most people but it's my truth. I remember after Kaleb was born I was laying in my hospital room and someone was showing me the pictures that Dennis took right after Kaleb was born and then posted those to Facebook. One of them had one of Kaleb's feet in it and I was livid. I couldn't believe that he posted it. Does he not understand that's not okay? Does he not see how insensitive that was of him? Clearly in my moments of pain meds and epidural I was sure they had written a book, "How to React When you Have a Child With Birth Defects". And of course in my drug induced reality Dennis and I had read that book...therefore he should just know not to post that photo. Of course there was no book [although I'm sure someone should write that book, it may have helped]. I'm not sure if I was so upset over the feet issue because I was already trying to protect my son from the looks and stares that I knew he would get later in life [and hadn't prepared for this early on] or if I just had not "accepted" how my son's feet were. God, you probably think I'm a terrible mommy at this point. I use the term "accepted" loosely, of course I accepted every part of my son but I didn't have any time with him [he was still in the NICU] for me to see them, look at them, touch them, learn about them, and take in the fact that he would need a "feet intervention". So why was the whole world [well Facebook world] getting to do that before me? I think it was a combination of both really. I knew during my pregnancy that things were going to be hard for Kaleb and I knew that he would be "special needs" and we know how cruel children [and their parents] can be. I didn't want that to start so early on. Now, I've had time to deal with the "feet issue". Children and adults stare at Kaleb's casts...I CAN SEE YOU. I know most people automatically think that both of his legs are broken. Yes, I broke both of my son's legs and I still have him in my custody. Now stop starring before I break you and your nosy kid's legs. Kidding, promise! 

Anyways, here are pictures of Kaleb's casting progress. I am okay with posting the before picture because well, that was before. I am hope-full that our wonderful orthopedic specialist will do wonders with K's feet. Of course I still worry, a lot, about the up coming surgeries and if my son will ever be able to properly walk but I will no longer act irrationally when it comes to posting photos of K's feet. Just a side note, I know people want to ask us questions everywhere we go and I welcome that. So please, if you have any questions just post them...it's really awkward when people want to say something and you can tell but they are afraid they will upset you. I'm not upset. I'm incredibly lucky to be this little man's mommy! 








(Sorry about the quality of this one, forgot to take an actual picture of just his casts during week two, this was the only one I could find after they were colored)


3 thoughts:

tressie

I'm so proud of you! I know this had to be hard. But please know that you have so much love and support. Kaleb is so precious. You're doing an amazing job as a mommy and handling struggles i can't even imagine with more grace and courage than i have ever been able to muster.

Love you guys tons. <3

Jenny Lincoln

Wow! Such a difference it two weeks!!! I know what you mean about the pictures. When my daughter was born and put on the ventilator my sister put a picture of her on Facebook and it really really bothered. I asked her to take it down. I didn't want people seeing her like that for some reason- like you said, a big part of it was probably me trying to accept it myself.
I'm glad the casting is working so well!

Victoria

Your son is so adorable and his feet look fabulous so far! You are a good momma :)

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