10.28.2010

Getting closer...

I can't believe how close I am to finally meeting precious baby K. I am running through every emotion possible on a daily basis. I am really excited and really scared at the same time. When I got home from work (very late might I add) I saw the windows open in Kaleb's room and could see new paint on the walls. Aww. Dennis is amazing. He is still up there painting, it's going to be so cute! We are painting the walls light blue with a dark gray accent wall. I know he won't use his room for a long time, because I'd like to keep him near me at night once he can come home from the hospital as long as possible incase he has any emergencies at night, but I am so excited for the day he can use his room and sleep in there! I have a new sense of hope lately. Are things going to be tough and unbearable at times? Absolutely. But I have to have faith that things will also be great. Kaleb and I have great doctors and he is being born at a wonderful hospital with a GREAT NICU. Which reminds me, we still need to tour the NICU. I've already toured it for my job but that was nearly two years ago and of course now it's for personal reasons instead of professional.

I've been extremely exhausted lately, just like the first trimester. I sit for hours (probably more like minutes) starring at the walls at work, or reading my mommy boards, or reading the news instead of actually working. I've just hit that "wall". I waddle everywhere and people have already started asking me if I'm due anytime soon or if I'm sure there is only one baby in there. Yes, this was my least favorite time with Nolan too. And I still have roughly 8 weeks left of hearing these things! I'm not looking forward to another c-section but I know it will be the most safe for Kaleb. I just hope I can get out of bed as quickly as possible (instead of a couple of days) so I can go see my baby. I remember when I had Nolan, he had to be taken to the intermediate nursery (a step down from the NICU) for breathing issues. He was there the entire first night of his life and most of the next morning. I was devastated. I called the nursery every three hours on the dot, which is when they would re-test him to see if he made a high enough score to leave and come to my room. I stayed up all night, calling every three hours, often crying on the phone with them. I couldn't get out of bed so I had to wait for him to be brought to me. Oh and when he was brought to me, that was the BEST feeling ever. That first night I made Dennis go visit Nolan often to make sure Nolan wasn't alone. I know this situation is going to be even harder because it's not going to be just for a night, so I'm trying to prepare myself the best that I can.

Besides being exhausted I am feeling a lot of other first trimester symptoms. Like nausea, several times a day. What the heck? I BEAT the first trimester, don't send me back there...please?! The new issue that I never did have with Nolan is pain, VERY LOW pain. I will spare you the details but there are times where I'm pretty sure there is a limb hanging out of me. I'm also having a lot of bladder pain, at times I have to stop and just breath because that's how painful it is. I go back for my weekly NST on Tuesday with Dr. Peppy so I'll mention it to him then, I'm sure it's just normal, annoying, but normal. At this point I LOVE normal. :)

Well it's nearly 9:30pm and when you have pregnancy related exhaustion that is pretty darn late.
Good night world.

2 thoughts:

Jess

I sympathize with you on so many levels. I'm also hoping that I'll be able to to go see my son in the NICU asap. You should send someone in your family who you trust with a camera to take pictures so that you can look at them from your hospital bed. They told me that even after a c-section, they'll try to wheel me down to the NICU a couple hours after the surgery so I can see him. I think the thing that will hurt the most is having my son taken away the minute he's born- they're probably not even going to let me get a good look at him or touch him before he goes. :( Oh well, whatever's best for our babies, right.
I think you'll feel a lot better once you tour the NICU. It's nice to actually SEE where you will be spending so much of your time.
I can't believe how quickly time is passing! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. And I've been keeping you, Baby K, and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers lately.

carlajoe

Oh Erin, I just have the faith to so you and Baby K are going to do just fantastic. It is difficult walking into the unknown, but there is so much love and so many blessings.

We have sent you our angel to watch over your Mr. Precious. We are keeping up with your journey and thinking of you often.

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