Our New Normal: April 2010

There is one word that can sum mother-hood up: S C A R Y.

Everything about it is scary. Everything gives you anxiety and there are so many times that you do certain things that you've always been told not to do with a child (for example: give them a toy in the grocery store to make them stop crying). I freak out when Nolan cries, or when he picks something dirty up off of the floor to eat, or when he gets dog hair all over him. I'm sure if we do have a second child things MUST get better. I must say though, I am a lot better about this type of stuff than I thought I would be and Dennis is actually turning out to be the crazy parent. I've had a lot of practice with children so it's easier for me to not freak out when he hits his head on a mostly hard rug on top of tile floors. Or maybe I don't freak out enough?

My job has recently gotten all crazy about trainings. Well they sent a few of us to "Parenting 101". I was actually offended when I saw this email telling me that I was already signed up for it. Why me? Why am I going to classes that are similar to what my clients are going to? What the hell people?! We got in the class and I must say it was a really nice refresher. Reminded me that I had learned parenting and development (etc) in my MAJOR in college and that I'm really not as dumb after all about this kind of thing. It was also pretty great to get out of a half day of work. :)

Another part of motherhood that I absolutely HATE has begun. Teething. Generally I hate seeing my baby in pain, I want to go through the pain for him and then just hand him the damn teeth and plop them in. Apparently that's not possible, but trust me, I'd do it. He's been teething all weekend and the teeth are just sitting there right under the gum to where you can see them but know they aren't coming through anytime soon. Damn teasers. Constant fever. Constant crying (actually it's not crying, it's a weird scream that I guess means pain). Constant drool. Constant tears ::heart breaks::

Things have been so great! I am loving how much more calm things are since Nolan is getting older. I miss the tiny toes and fingers but I finally feel like I know what I'm doing...and no matter what anyone says, that brings a sense of calm over everyone. I remember when Nolan was only maybe 6 weeks old I was so frustrated because I didn't know what his cries meant. I know people always say a mother always knows what the different cries mean. No one ever tells you that it takes several months though. If someone would have just told me that from the get-go I would have been in a much better place!

We have been doing so many things, Nolan is getting more mobile and active and I LOVE IT! He hasn't crawled yet but he can scoot around and stretch to get things. We started feeding him small bits on actual human food. He's tried the Gerber puffs and then we cut up some blueberries into REALLY small pieces. I must say, Nolan doesn't have a true want to grow up. He will put anything and everything in his mouth that isn't human food but when he picks up actual food he just stares at it and then drops it. We have some bananas to try, I'm hoping that will show him that human food is GREAT!

We are going to Maine in a couple of weeks. That is...if I don't have a mental break down/anxiety attack the size of Texas before then. I'm extremely stressed over this visit to Maine. I developed a fear of flying a few years ago. Most people would say that 9/11 gave them a fear of flying or a traumatic personal experience. Nope. Not me! I've always LOVED flying. Now...I'm sure it's the last time I'll see anyone alive and I'm scared to death for my son and me now. Not to mention the extra stress of bag fees, taking baby stuff, having a 9 month old sit on our lap (yeah right...I don't see that happening), buying all new things once we get there, the airplane losing our luggage, my big baby items being damaged in the cargo area, lay overs, and the list goes on. I'll just go ahead and apologize to Dennis now because I am being the most difficult person about this trip, but seriously...my sanity is on the line here.

The only other big thing going on is the fact that I'm going back to school to get my masters this Fall. I can't wait! I was offered a great deal (free and only one day a week) from the main college in Central Florida and I can't turn it down. I'm going to be insanely busy for the next three years of my life but I am so happy to be able to further my education and open up entirely new possibilities for employment. Yay!!

Finally...Nolan's newest friend was born Sunday night, Alexander Benjamin! One of my closest friends here just had her baby boy and soon they will be moving closer to our neighborhood and the boys may even go to school together one day. :) Okay...I may be getting ahead of myself but I'm all about Nolan being happy yah know. We went to the hospital last night to see baby Alex and I really don't remember Nolan EVER being that small. Even though Nolan did weigh less and wasn't as long I'm sure he was never that tiny. My how the time flies... :( The hospital made Nolan stay out in the waiting room because of the damn Swine Flu (STILL?) but they got to see each other through the window.