Last night I found out about the Package Tour (98 degrees, BSB, and Boys II Men tour). I was so excited and told a friend of mine we were going, no ifs ands or buts. I looked up the tickets, found the date in my city, and was ready for presale in a few days. I was so excited to go to a concert, something so dumb but I really need to get out of the house and be part of mindless things. Really..it's for my sanity.
Then shortly after all my excited a friend reminded me that I will be in Chicago on that date. We are going to Chicago in June for a big meet up with our Trisomy 9 family...it will be like a huge family reunion. This is great and all but I was so excited for a night away from all of this crap that we go through on a daily basis. So what did I do?
I sobbed. What the hell is wrong with me? I couldn't even catch my breath during it all. I'm obviously not of sound body and mind...because seriously I cried over a concert. Obviously the meeting in Chicago is insanely more important than a concert but it's the meaning of it all. Trisomy consumes me. Everything I do or think has something that can be tied back to my son's Trisomy diagnosis.
When is our next surgery? What test results have I not gotten back yet? Who is going to watch Nolan? What are we going to have for dinner (we try to eat Paleo so that Kaleb''s severe GI issues will decrease)? I need to make a list of medicines, questions for any given doctor (reminds me I need to do this for tomorrow's appointment), emergency numbers, etc. What is this bump on Kaleb's body, why is it there, will we be in the hospital soon because of the bump? Does Kaleb feel warm? Does Nolan feel warm...because if so I need to keep him from Kaleb. What do I need to disinfect today? How did Kaleb's poop look today? What day of the week is it so I know what medicines to give? What surgery will I have my son go through with his feet. Will we be going to St. Louis? Do I trust his doctors? What toy should I get Kaleb for birthday/xmas/etc because it has to be therapy related.
January is trying to break us and for now it's winning.
And btw, if you are my friend on FB and go to the concert and then you post photos of the concert. You will probably be un-friended. ;)
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